IONA Magazine

Listen up Ladies. We are going to talk about something that is an issue a lot of women struggle with in their sexual relationships . . . Anal Sex.

Anal Sex, is something a lot of men seem to be interested in and would like to practice as part of their regular sexual routine, however many women have come to me asking me the same question, "Is it safe?" "Is it healthy?" "What are the long term affects if I engage in this type of sexual behavior?" "I want to try it, but I don't!"

The Anus, as we all know is for waste excretion. It is the last part of your large intestine, where waste passes from the rectum through the anal canal, and out through the anus. There are no nerves there associated with pleasure centers like there are for the vagina. And many women do not find anal sex particularly enjoyable but are willing to do what it takes to please their man. If that is he case with you, please continue reading.

Health problems and infection issues can arise when a man's penis is in the anus and then put into the vagina or mouth without first being cleaned. You never insert anything into your vagina that has previously been in your anus/rectum unless it has been totally sanitized first. Basically you can transfer fecal matter into the vagina or one's mouth. If you have parasites, those can also be transferred to the mouth or vagina also. Any rips or tears in the vagina will allow bacteria to get into the wound and make healing more difficult and possibly result in sickness. Much like you shouldn't chop raw meat on the same surface as you cut raw veggies, you shouldn't put things that have been in other orifices (mouth, anus, someone else's vagina) into your vagina. It is also very important to use condoms during anal sex and apply to that a condom-safe lubricant. The anus does not lubricate itself and it's very delicate. Using condoms and lube are VERY important for preventing injury. Moreover, because the anus is a sphincter (meaning it tries to keep itself closed), you might want to ease into anal penetration by starting with smaller things like fingers or slim toys with a flared base. While there is no particular disease you will get from having anal sex in and of itself, the anus was not really built for sexual activity, however, you can enjoy both anal and vaginal sex in the same sexual encounter, but your partner must wear a condom at all times, and change that condom when changing between anal and vaginal sex.

I have to ask the women reading this to take a moment and mentally ask themselves why engage in sexual activity that is not particularly pleasurable to many of you and causes you to worry about your sexual health and beyond. What is your frame of mind when it comes to sex and sex with your partner? There are many creative things a couple can do and both enjoy. Why participate in what you do NOT want to do? Take a moment to think about that. Are you afraid he will leave if you say no? Do you feel guilty for asking him to make sure you are sexually satisfied? That is more damaging to YOU long term than anal sex. Any woman who cannot speak up or stand up for herself is usually at risk for other things. If you are participating in sexual activities you don't like, you are also probably NOT going to ask him to use protection. You won't ask him to get tested for HIV or ask to see his last results on paper. You won't ask him to stop if he is hurting you. The implications are far reaching. Really be honest with yourself and stop doing the activities you do not wish to do. Tell him in a clear and unemotional manner what you like and do not like in terms of sex. If you like anal sex, by all means, engage, enjoy and be safe, however, if you don't like it, speak up and find other ways to have an enjoyable and fulfilling sex life with you partner.

I always say at the end of my shows, "Ignoring One's Conscience is Neither Safe Nor Right!" Does this statement apply to you?

Tell me your thoughts on anal sex and having a fulfilling sex life with or without it. I would love to hear from you!